[ oh, god no--they got his brother, too? suddenly, mako's walking faster, feeling a sense of panic rise in his chest. ]
yoshio do not go outside tonight. i want you to stay inside for the rest of the evening. if you need anything from the convenience store or something, i'm going with you. come home immediately after school/swimming practice. i don't want you wandering around alone.
yeah. i'm three blocks away. i don't want you to just do any of that stuff today; i need you to come home right away every day until the 21 days are up. tell that to minako, too. i don't want either of you getting hurt.
[Yoshio sees it only a little later Sunday evening. He's in bed long before Mako, even before it gets dark, exhausted from both swim practice that he dragged himself through and one of many waves of tiny, piercing headaches. His phone buzzes and he opens his eyes, then closes the sensitive right one and reads his too-bright phone screen with only one eye.
"You're still my little brother."
He can't be certain of that anymore. Something sad grips his heart hard, and Yoshio sighs, turning his face down to press against the pillow. Mako is his brother. He feels like that's for sure. But somehow he's less sure that he's the brother Mako raised anymore.
Rolling onto his back, Yoshio turns the screen brightness down, so he can open both eyes again, then taps out a short message.]
I know. You're my brother, too.
[He submits it, then sighs and adds something: a quiet admittance.]
[ he'd be lying if he said he didn't share the same sentiment.
the visions he'd had were of a different younger brother. one that looked more like mako himself, one that feels familiar, like a period of lost time that he can't get back--but he's been fighting to remind himself that yoshio is the brother he's taken care of. not the stranger that's only popped up twice in his hallucinations. ]
you're not. you're yoshio and that's not going to change.
[ he's going to keep on being the older brother he always was. even if things don't seem right anymore. ]
[For a moment, he doesn't know what to say. If he's still all him... is he just going crazy? Are all of them slowly losing it? He and Mako and Michi and Minako. All four of them -- the other three are the only others he's confirmed to have the app -- what could possibly be happening to them? "Sakuma"... the name he'd been given. "Dantalion". A faceless, many-faced demon. There's so much he doesn't know and needs to, and yet there are no answers to present themselves.]
When the week is up I hope things stay the way they are
[Mako is all the family he has left. They have a handful of aunts and uncles, sure, and a few cousins -- but none of them are important the way Mako is. The idea of that falling apart is almost too much to handle.]
[ it's funny, how mako's in the other room but he's still texting yoshio like this--but when he reads yoshio's last text, he can't distance himself any longer.
he sounds afraid.
and what kind of older brother would he be if he left his younger brother alone?
without saying anything, mako gets up and knocks on the door. ]
[That's just how things happen sometimes, though. Yoshio doesn't particularly want to yell, so texting was fine, but if Mako is there, then he doesn't mind that, either.]
Yeah.
[He clicks his phone's screen off, then rolls onto his side, so that the right side of his face is against the mattress, to shield his eye. Really, he didn't need to ask -- it's his room too, after all.
It's funny, thinking about it now. He'd told Michi, before he knew it was Michi, that he didn't feel afraid. But now, as the last day draws closer, he's getting there.]
[ that's just how things are in the household, sometimes. mako saves the document he's been working on, ignoring the app's icon blaring at him through the dashboard of his desktop, and closes it before opening the door to their room. ]
Hey.
[ he can tell that yoshio's not doing too hot by the way he's positioned on the bed. mako takes a seat on the office chair in their room, turns to face his younger brother. ]
[Yoshio peers up at him from the bed, then sits up too, still curled into a ball inside his blanket, his legs pulled up to his chest. He's not really sure how to begin, so he just leans forward enough that he can rest his chin on his knees, rubbing a bit of his blanket in between thumb and index finger.]
... I guess so.
[How does he even begin?]
It bothers me that... those memories -- [are they memories, truly? He's still not sure] -- you're not in them at all. I don't know who Sakuma Jirou is. I know he plays soccer. That's it.
[They haven't discussed those visions at all. But Mako must be having them too. They seem to go hand in hand with those headaches and that app.]
[ ...he wasn't going to bring it up. that yoshio wasn't in his memories, that yoshio was instead replaced by another person who isn't him. he wasn't going to talk about how that unsettles him and makes him sick to his stomach. just the prospect of the app treating his family like a sick joke makes him angry, and mako has to take a breath to calm himself down before he speaks again. ]
Listen.... We don't know if those 'memories' are real or not. They could just be hallucinations, Yoshio. Don't forget that.
[ he says that, and yet... even mako isn't entirely sure about it. ]
It's fine, if I'm not in those memories of yours. It's just...this app playing tricks on us. It doesn't mean you're any less of a brother to me.
[They could be. But they feel real. And really, in the end, that's all that matters, isn't it? Things that make you feel bad, no matter how much it's in your head, are still things that make you feel bad.
[ mako sighs, runs a hand through his hair. life was a lot...simpler without all of this. why they were chosen, who's behind it--a few out of the many questions he has. he's been visibly stressed lately and it shows in how he's spent late nights on his computer for research.
he hates all of it. ]
We'll just have to tough it out until the days are over.
[He doesn't want to do that. He wants it to be over -- he knows things will end eventually, everything does, no matter how awful -- but he's uncomfortable with the part where he has to live through it.]
[ he doesn't sound satisfied, though. he doesn't like that this is taking such a huge toll on yoshio; he can tell that it's been bothering him for a while. not like mako's any better, but he's more concerned for yoshio than he is for himself. mako knows he can keep his cool. (spoilers: he can't.) ]
I'll be outside if you need anything. Gotta finish some homework.
[Yoshio doesn't have much else he can say. But even as he's snuggling back down into a small ball on the bed, he peeks out at his brother, his eyes only just visible above the edge of the blanket.]
[This is the shortest email that he's had to agonize about wording on, ever. Sakuma's easy; his name is written the same either way if he sticks to Japanese. Kidou... less so. Michi is part of his name somewhere, but, hm. Maybe if he stays in kanji, it'll be less obvious. Anyone reading it likely won't catch it. It's a gamble to be sure... but it's one he really wants to take. It feels important, somehow. Like he has to establish something for himself, if nothing else.
So after about ten minutes of staring,]
佐久間,
What's a good way to get in contact with you?
[...he just leaves it unsigned and trusts the school email saying his other name will be good enough.]
[The way this is written, he knows exactly who it is. He wouldn't really have to guess anyway, honestly -- his memory now identifies Michi as Kidou, despite being unable to recognize him at the time.]
[Now that he's made contact ... he switches to Japanese completely. Partly to encode this to make it a little harder for anyone else to possibly see, not that he's paranoid or anything. But also partly so he can correctly address his friend. This may be the one person he can get away with doing this for, and he'll take that advantage.]
As expected of Sakuma. Let me know if you notice anything.
[He's more comfortable with that himself. And while the only thing that sticks out about this is that nobody really calls him Koutarou, it feels better to be addressed as Sakuma.]
You're welcome to take a look. You'd be surprised how much I've already managed to collect.
[At least, he is. The amount of things people let drop about themselves in idle conversation is incredible.]
Either study hall, or if you aren't comfortable with the school, the library near where I live has "quiet rooms" you can book for study purposes. If we say we're doing a project for school, no one will question.
[Suddenly he's aware he didn't really finish his first message. Sure, they'd walked to practice and stuff together before, back in the old world, but......]
[It's amazing how useful school assigned emails are when you find yourself without any actual contact information for someone. It's why 'Yoshio' is suddenly receiving an email from a 'Christopher' a day after everything had gone down in the orchard.]
I was tasked with making contact for a project through a mutual acquaintance. As it's not a school related topic you can reach me at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Regards,
Christopher Noro
[That sure is a stiff sounding email, but considering 'Christopher' doesn't know Yoshio and Genda was not exactly great at the whole acting thing this is as good as it's getting in him trying to not give anything away if this email gets read by someone other then Sakuma.]
[Sakuma doesn't bother replying to the email. He simply taps Genda's number into his phone and messages him directly. Like with Kidou, he sticks to Japanese.]
You don't waste time. Did you get my email from Kidou?
Yes. I was reminded that waiting was not ideal regarding our new situation.
[It was an odd relief to use a language that felt natural to use again, even if one set of memories jangled with unease over knowing something they shouldn't know.]
I apologize for not knowing how to contact you before now.
[Because clearly he should have somehow figured that out despite not knowing who Sakuma was off the app and doing so while fighting off the fatigue of over using that healing spell.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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you didn't happen to get a weird...app/virus thing on your phone today, did you?
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You too, huh?
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yoshio
do not go outside tonight. i want you to stay inside for the rest of the evening. if you need anything from the convenience store or something, i'm going with you.
come home immediately after school/swimming practice. i don't want you wandering around alone.
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Don't worry, okay? I'm already home. I didn't have practice, so I just went home. You're on the way back?
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i don't want you to just do any of that stuff today; i need you to come home right away every day until the 21 days are up.
tell that to minako, too. i don't want either of you getting hurt.
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You have your keys, right? I'm going to leave the door locked.
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[cut to this]
surprise...text
i just want you to know that no matter what the app tries to make us say, you're still my little brother.
[ and that's about all he can say before the headaches start coming again. ]
oh noooo
"You're still my little brother."
He can't be certain of that anymore. Something sad grips his heart hard, and Yoshio sighs, turning his face down to press against the pillow. Mako is his brother. He feels like that's for sure. But somehow he's less sure that he's the brother Mako raised anymore.
Rolling onto his back, Yoshio turns the screen brightness down, so he can open both eyes again, then taps out a short message.]
I know. You're my brother, too.
[He submits it, then sighs and adds something: a quiet admittance.]
I don't want to be someone else.
this hurts
the visions he'd had were of a different younger brother. one that looked more like mako himself, one that feels familiar, like a period of lost time that he can't get back--but he's been fighting to remind himself that yoshio is the brother he's taken care of. not the stranger that's only popped up twice in his hallucinations. ]
you're not. you're yoshio and that's not going to change.
[ he's going to keep on being the older brother he always was. even if things don't seem right anymore. ]
REALLY THOUGH
[For a moment, he doesn't know what to say. If he's still all him... is he just going crazy? Are all of them slowly losing it? He and Mako and Michi and Minako. All four of them -- the other three are the only others he's confirmed to have the app -- what could possibly be happening to them? "Sakuma"... the name he'd been given. "Dantalion". A faceless, many-faced demon. There's so much he doesn't know and needs to, and yet there are no answers to present themselves.]
When the week is up
I hope things stay the way they are
[Mako is all the family he has left. They have a handful of aunts and uncles, sure, and a few cousins -- but none of them are important the way Mako is. The idea of that falling apart is almost too much to handle.]
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he sounds afraid.
and what kind of older brother would he be if he left his younger brother alone?
without saying anything, mako gets up and knocks on the door. ]
Can I come in?
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Yeah.
[He clicks his phone's screen off, then rolls onto his side, so that the right side of his face is against the mattress, to shield his eye. Really, he didn't need to ask -- it's his room too, after all.
It's funny, thinking about it now. He'd told Michi, before he knew it was Michi, that he didn't feel afraid. But now, as the last day draws closer, he's getting there.]
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Hey.
[ he can tell that yoshio's not doing too hot by the way he's positioned on the bed. mako takes a seat on the office chair in their room, turns to face his younger brother. ]
Looks like you need to talk about something.
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... I guess so.
[How does he even begin?]
It bothers me that... those memories -- [are they memories, truly? He's still not sure] -- you're not in them at all. I don't know who Sakuma Jirou is. I know he plays soccer. That's it.
[They haven't discussed those visions at all. But Mako must be having them too. They seem to go hand in hand with those headaches and that app.]
I don't even know what kind of person he is.
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Listen.... We don't know if those 'memories' are real or not. They could just be hallucinations, Yoshio. Don't forget that.
[ he says that, and yet... even mako isn't entirely sure about it. ]
It's fine, if I'm not in those memories of yours. It's just...this app playing tricks on us. It doesn't mean you're any less of a brother to me.
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[They could be. But they feel real. And really, in the end, that's all that matters, isn't it? Things that make you feel bad, no matter how much it's in your head, are still things that make you feel bad.
But still...]
I don't like it, Mako.
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[ mako sighs, runs a hand through his hair. life was a lot...simpler without all of this. why they were chosen, who's behind it--a few out of the many questions he has. he's been visibly stressed lately and it shows in how he's spent late nights on his computer for research.
he hates all of it. ]
We'll just have to tough it out until the days are over.
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[He doesn't want to do that. He wants it to be over -- he knows things will end eventually, everything does, no matter how awful -- but he's uncomfortable with the part where he has to live through it.]
I'll tell you if I have any more.
[It seems like the right thing to do.]
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[ he doesn't sound satisfied, though. he doesn't like that this is taking such a huge toll on yoshio; he can tell that it's been bothering him for a while. not like mako's any better, but he's more concerned for yoshio than he is for himself. mako knows he can keep his cool. (spoilers: he can't.) ]
I'll be outside if you need anything. Gotta finish some homework.
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[Yoshio doesn't have much else he can say. But even as he's snuggling back down into a small ball on the bed, he peeks out at his brother, his eyes only just visible above the edge of the blanket.]
Thanks. You... didn't have to come talk to me.
no subject
[ like a good older brother should. this mako's a little more...sensitive compared to his former self, at least. ]
email, to school address
So after about ten minutes of staring,]
佐久間,
What's a good way to get in contact with you?
[...he just leaves it unsigned and trusts the school email saying his other name will be good enough.]
no subject
You can text me, if that's acceptable:
1-xxx-xxx-xxxx
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Yes. I've been compiling notes.
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As expected of Sakuma. Let me know if you notice anything.
text
You're welcome to take a look. You'd be surprised how much I've already managed to collect.
[At least, he is. The amount of things people let drop about themselves in idle conversation is incredible.]
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Or you could come over, I guess.
[He's covering his bases with that last one.]
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The last option would be the most secure. If I may impose.
1/2
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I'll need an address and a time.
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[Attached to this message is a screencap of a map of Eddan, with his apartment building indicated, and the unit number noted.]
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[So not only is he coming over, but he's willing to walk there with him. It's what's easiest to do...]
1/3
2/
But that means.....]
3/4 i lied
Insert long pause.]
4/4
Tomorrow, then.
School Email
I was tasked with making contact for a project through a mutual acquaintance. As it's not a school related topic you can reach me at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Regards,
Christopher Noro
[That sure is a stiff sounding email, but considering 'Christopher' doesn't know Yoshio and Genda was not exactly great at the whole acting thing this is as good as it's getting in him trying to not give anything away if this email gets read by someone other then Sakuma.]
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You don't waste time. Did you get my email from Kidou?
text
[It was an odd relief to use a language that felt natural to use again, even if one set of memories jangled with unease over knowing something they shouldn't know.]
I apologize for not knowing how to contact you before now.
[Because clearly he should have somehow figured that out despite not knowing who Sakuma was off the app and doing so while fighting off the fatigue of over using that healing spell.]
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That being said, we've got it now. We're set. Have you been reading the network again, by chance?
[He'll be real surprised if Genda isn't doing the same thing as him.]
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[Because Christopher was far from diligent in taking notes regarding things Genda would believe were important.]
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I'm interested to see what you find.
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