[Yoshio sees it only a little later Sunday evening. He's in bed long before Mako, even before it gets dark, exhausted from both swim practice that he dragged himself through and one of many waves of tiny, piercing headaches. His phone buzzes and he opens his eyes, then closes the sensitive right one and reads his too-bright phone screen with only one eye.
"You're still my little brother."
He can't be certain of that anymore. Something sad grips his heart hard, and Yoshio sighs, turning his face down to press against the pillow. Mako is his brother. He feels like that's for sure. But somehow he's less sure that he's the brother Mako raised anymore.
Rolling onto his back, Yoshio turns the screen brightness down, so he can open both eyes again, then taps out a short message.]
I know. You're my brother, too.
[He submits it, then sighs and adds something: a quiet admittance.]
[ he'd be lying if he said he didn't share the same sentiment.
the visions he'd had were of a different younger brother. one that looked more like mako himself, one that feels familiar, like a period of lost time that he can't get back--but he's been fighting to remind himself that yoshio is the brother he's taken care of. not the stranger that's only popped up twice in his hallucinations. ]
you're not. you're yoshio and that's not going to change.
[ he's going to keep on being the older brother he always was. even if things don't seem right anymore. ]
[For a moment, he doesn't know what to say. If he's still all him... is he just going crazy? Are all of them slowly losing it? He and Mako and Michi and Minako. All four of them -- the other three are the only others he's confirmed to have the app -- what could possibly be happening to them? "Sakuma"... the name he'd been given. "Dantalion". A faceless, many-faced demon. There's so much he doesn't know and needs to, and yet there are no answers to present themselves.]
When the week is up I hope things stay the way they are
[Mako is all the family he has left. They have a handful of aunts and uncles, sure, and a few cousins -- but none of them are important the way Mako is. The idea of that falling apart is almost too much to handle.]
[ it's funny, how mako's in the other room but he's still texting yoshio like this--but when he reads yoshio's last text, he can't distance himself any longer.
he sounds afraid.
and what kind of older brother would he be if he left his younger brother alone?
without saying anything, mako gets up and knocks on the door. ]
[That's just how things happen sometimes, though. Yoshio doesn't particularly want to yell, so texting was fine, but if Mako is there, then he doesn't mind that, either.]
Yeah.
[He clicks his phone's screen off, then rolls onto his side, so that the right side of his face is against the mattress, to shield his eye. Really, he didn't need to ask -- it's his room too, after all.
It's funny, thinking about it now. He'd told Michi, before he knew it was Michi, that he didn't feel afraid. But now, as the last day draws closer, he's getting there.]
[ that's just how things are in the household, sometimes. mako saves the document he's been working on, ignoring the app's icon blaring at him through the dashboard of his desktop, and closes it before opening the door to their room. ]
Hey.
[ he can tell that yoshio's not doing too hot by the way he's positioned on the bed. mako takes a seat on the office chair in their room, turns to face his younger brother. ]
[Yoshio peers up at him from the bed, then sits up too, still curled into a ball inside his blanket, his legs pulled up to his chest. He's not really sure how to begin, so he just leans forward enough that he can rest his chin on his knees, rubbing a bit of his blanket in between thumb and index finger.]
... I guess so.
[How does he even begin?]
It bothers me that... those memories -- [are they memories, truly? He's still not sure] -- you're not in them at all. I don't know who Sakuma Jirou is. I know he plays soccer. That's it.
[They haven't discussed those visions at all. But Mako must be having them too. They seem to go hand in hand with those headaches and that app.]
[ ...he wasn't going to bring it up. that yoshio wasn't in his memories, that yoshio was instead replaced by another person who isn't him. he wasn't going to talk about how that unsettles him and makes him sick to his stomach. just the prospect of the app treating his family like a sick joke makes him angry, and mako has to take a breath to calm himself down before he speaks again. ]
Listen.... We don't know if those 'memories' are real or not. They could just be hallucinations, Yoshio. Don't forget that.
[ he says that, and yet... even mako isn't entirely sure about it. ]
It's fine, if I'm not in those memories of yours. It's just...this app playing tricks on us. It doesn't mean you're any less of a brother to me.
[They could be. But they feel real. And really, in the end, that's all that matters, isn't it? Things that make you feel bad, no matter how much it's in your head, are still things that make you feel bad.
[ mako sighs, runs a hand through his hair. life was a lot...simpler without all of this. why they were chosen, who's behind it--a few out of the many questions he has. he's been visibly stressed lately and it shows in how he's spent late nights on his computer for research.
he hates all of it. ]
We'll just have to tough it out until the days are over.
[He doesn't want to do that. He wants it to be over -- he knows things will end eventually, everything does, no matter how awful -- but he's uncomfortable with the part where he has to live through it.]
[ he doesn't sound satisfied, though. he doesn't like that this is taking such a huge toll on yoshio; he can tell that it's been bothering him for a while. not like mako's any better, but he's more concerned for yoshio than he is for himself. mako knows he can keep his cool. (spoilers: he can't.) ]
I'll be outside if you need anything. Gotta finish some homework.
[Yoshio doesn't have much else he can say. But even as he's snuggling back down into a small ball on the bed, he peeks out at his brother, his eyes only just visible above the edge of the blanket.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
surprise...text
i just want you to know that no matter what the app tries to make us say, you're still my little brother.
[ and that's about all he can say before the headaches start coming again. ]
oh noooo
"You're still my little brother."
He can't be certain of that anymore. Something sad grips his heart hard, and Yoshio sighs, turning his face down to press against the pillow. Mako is his brother. He feels like that's for sure. But somehow he's less sure that he's the brother Mako raised anymore.
Rolling onto his back, Yoshio turns the screen brightness down, so he can open both eyes again, then taps out a short message.]
I know. You're my brother, too.
[He submits it, then sighs and adds something: a quiet admittance.]
I don't want to be someone else.
this hurts
the visions he'd had were of a different younger brother. one that looked more like mako himself, one that feels familiar, like a period of lost time that he can't get back--but he's been fighting to remind himself that yoshio is the brother he's taken care of. not the stranger that's only popped up twice in his hallucinations. ]
you're not. you're yoshio and that's not going to change.
[ he's going to keep on being the older brother he always was. even if things don't seem right anymore. ]
REALLY THOUGH
[For a moment, he doesn't know what to say. If he's still all him... is he just going crazy? Are all of them slowly losing it? He and Mako and Michi and Minako. All four of them -- the other three are the only others he's confirmed to have the app -- what could possibly be happening to them? "Sakuma"... the name he'd been given. "Dantalion". A faceless, many-faced demon. There's so much he doesn't know and needs to, and yet there are no answers to present themselves.]
When the week is up
I hope things stay the way they are
[Mako is all the family he has left. They have a handful of aunts and uncles, sure, and a few cousins -- but none of them are important the way Mako is. The idea of that falling apart is almost too much to handle.]
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he sounds afraid.
and what kind of older brother would he be if he left his younger brother alone?
without saying anything, mako gets up and knocks on the door. ]
Can I come in?
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Yeah.
[He clicks his phone's screen off, then rolls onto his side, so that the right side of his face is against the mattress, to shield his eye. Really, he didn't need to ask -- it's his room too, after all.
It's funny, thinking about it now. He'd told Michi, before he knew it was Michi, that he didn't feel afraid. But now, as the last day draws closer, he's getting there.]
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Hey.
[ he can tell that yoshio's not doing too hot by the way he's positioned on the bed. mako takes a seat on the office chair in their room, turns to face his younger brother. ]
Looks like you need to talk about something.
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... I guess so.
[How does he even begin?]
It bothers me that... those memories -- [are they memories, truly? He's still not sure] -- you're not in them at all. I don't know who Sakuma Jirou is. I know he plays soccer. That's it.
[They haven't discussed those visions at all. But Mako must be having them too. They seem to go hand in hand with those headaches and that app.]
I don't even know what kind of person he is.
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Listen.... We don't know if those 'memories' are real or not. They could just be hallucinations, Yoshio. Don't forget that.
[ he says that, and yet... even mako isn't entirely sure about it. ]
It's fine, if I'm not in those memories of yours. It's just...this app playing tricks on us. It doesn't mean you're any less of a brother to me.
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[They could be. But they feel real. And really, in the end, that's all that matters, isn't it? Things that make you feel bad, no matter how much it's in your head, are still things that make you feel bad.
But still...]
I don't like it, Mako.
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[ mako sighs, runs a hand through his hair. life was a lot...simpler without all of this. why they were chosen, who's behind it--a few out of the many questions he has. he's been visibly stressed lately and it shows in how he's spent late nights on his computer for research.
he hates all of it. ]
We'll just have to tough it out until the days are over.
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[He doesn't want to do that. He wants it to be over -- he knows things will end eventually, everything does, no matter how awful -- but he's uncomfortable with the part where he has to live through it.]
I'll tell you if I have any more.
[It seems like the right thing to do.]
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[ he doesn't sound satisfied, though. he doesn't like that this is taking such a huge toll on yoshio; he can tell that it's been bothering him for a while. not like mako's any better, but he's more concerned for yoshio than he is for himself. mako knows he can keep his cool. (spoilers: he can't.) ]
I'll be outside if you need anything. Gotta finish some homework.
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[Yoshio doesn't have much else he can say. But even as he's snuggling back down into a small ball on the bed, he peeks out at his brother, his eyes only just visible above the edge of the blanket.]
Thanks. You... didn't have to come talk to me.
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[ like a good older brother should. this mako's a little more...sensitive compared to his former self, at least. ]